This afternoon I shared a lovely meal with Jay Cousins who is one of the Palomar 5 fellows, a futurist, writer, facilitator and co-founder of the Open Design City in Berlin.
In conversation, I learned he’s into flow, energy and allowing as opposed to getting down to business within the limitations of traditional constructs. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get anything done. Au contraire! He has an openness in leadership that gives other people permission to shine without his ego getting in the way. At least, that’s what I picked up through our chat.
After lots of discussion about innovation camps, motivating people and allowing individuals to grow, we started talking about communication styles. I noted that he obviously doesn’t like email and if you want to get in touch, just call. As evidence, he responded to my four paragraph email with:
Hey Chelsea
Sounds good, give us a buzz on [phone number removed] Startup Abroad looks very interesting.
Look forward to meeting you,
Cheers
J
After that, I assumed he was interested in meeting, and preferred phone or face-to-face communication. I responded with a four word response and then we planned lunch over Skype.
The point is (and I’ll give Jay credit here) we all have a communication style and prefer to hang out somewhere different. For some of us, it’s generational, others preference.
We’re at an apex in technology and culture where rules and communication standards are personal. As opposed to three clear options: landline, in person or fax, we have a gazillion. With all of this choice: Facetime, Skype, phone, cell phone, Google Voice, email, SMS, location based push notifications, apps, Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare (and the list goes on), it’s a wonder anyone communicates at all.
Enter your personal API. Jay is writing his, and I immediately jumped on writing mine today. How would someone reach me most effectively? Through which channels? At what time?
Would being transparent about this help all of us?
With all of that noisy introduction, let’s get to it.
My Personal API for Communication
If you want to sync up over business related matters, send me an email explaining who you are and why you think we should meet up for lunch, coffee, etc. If you want something from me, be clear in how you think we might be able to collaborate or help each other out.
If you want to show me that you care, call me. When I’m in the country, I can be reached at (415) 944-9015.
Unless you’re sick or something major came up, do not blow me off or flake. As they say in the Four Agreements, “be impeccable with your word.” I’ll return the favor. If I tell you I’ll meet you in Spain in four months; I will.
On the flip side of being impeccable with your word, I unfortunately have a tardiness gene. I’m in the process of trying hard to change that. At most, I’ll be 10 minutes late. I’d like to get that down to early. Tips?
My maybes usually mean yes. If I won’t commit at all, it’s probably because I’m not sure what that time period is going to look like and I don’t want to fill up my schedule way in advance. I don’t like knowing what’s going to happen at every turn and appreciate the ability to be spontaneous.
I use Twitter to talk about what I’m thinking in the moment. I also react to what other people say and occasionally ask questions. You can @ me to get in touch and I’ll respond rather quickly.
Facebook is my friend bank and a place I solicit discussions with friends and business contacts. I don’t love Facebook emails but will answer them eventually. For the most part, Facebook seems like a giant waste of time. Who cares what color your baby pooped today? Let’s talk about something real in a real way. As a side, I prefer to interact with family offline. And if you add me as a friend and we haven’t interacted in real life or have a reason to, I’ll probably ignore the request.
I follow topics on Quora for things I’m interested in business-wise. So far I haven’t asked any questions.
Instagram is where I share what I am doing and how I am feeling through photos. Between Twitter and Instagram, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what I’m up to and what I am thinking about. Follow chelzcers on Instagram to connect.
Skype is useful for meetings, calls and catching up, but I don’t like chatting (accept on rare occasion). In 1997, chatting was sooooo fun. I spent hours having mindless conversations… a/s/l anyone? If we’re both free, let’s do a quick call instead. I like Skype more than traditional phones since I can pick up on so much more than your words. If you want to catch me on Skype, I’m chelsea.rachelle.
Texting is ok. I remember the first time a guy asked me out via text I called him up and chewed him out. Ha, yah… I used to be much more high strung. Either way, I’ll respond to texts within the same day, but usually not immediately. Please don’t try to have full on text conversations with me via text. I’d rather hear your voice or meet in person.
I don’t really use Foursquare or Gowalla, although sometimes I’ll check in through Instagram.
I find sending mail through the post office really difficult. You’re much more likely to receive communication from me online or in real life. You probably won’t receive a greeting card unless I’m able to hand deliver the message.
Couchsurfing is a community where I share experiences mostly through groups. I like meeting travelers from around the world and this particular community shares the common thread passion, curiosity and openness toward sharing with perfect strangers.
If I’m in the mood to try new restaurants and see who I meet along the way, I’ll attend a grubwithus dinner in San Francisco.
I probably attend half of what Plancast says I’m going to. I use Plancast to plan, not so much to broadcast.
I value spontaneity, randomness, surprise, serendipity and getting together last minute as much as I do planning.
LinkedIn feels like a hollow ghost town, highly outdated for my needs. All that aside, it’s another good professional contacts bank to store people I want to keep in touch with long term. I accept most LinkedIn requests unless they look spammy. You know who you are.
As I’m rather busy most of the time, it’s probably good to plan to hang out or have a business meeting if you really want to get in touch. Plus, planning ahead shows you value my time.
Thank you’s go a long way. I appreciate appreciation.
Words mean a lot to me. I’m very verbal and as the Italians say straight (as in straight forward). If you express what you’re thinking and feeling clearly, I will be able to connect with you better.
I believe anything is possible and prefer to spend my time hanging out with people who agree.
As long as I’m surrounded by passionate people, I don’t care what we’re doing. I really enjoy people who are living on purpose, for a purpose.
And here are other words that inspire me.
And this is just communication. Should I do a dating API next? Nah! That might kill the mystery.
I'm passionate about building community, understanding how to maximize time, objects, skills and space and the new age of sharing. As a digital native, I see where things have been as well as where they are going.
